Most definitely not “fine”
Hi everyone
It’s hard to stay focussed when you feel so alone.
This month has been extremely difficult for me as my husband has been in hospital for an operation and then recently there were complications so he was taken back in. Obviously, the worry of it all has been extremely stressful and as a result, my mental health has plummeted. My husband is my rock and without him being his usual strong self, my world is very bleak.
In order to keep my sanity I turn to painting or creative work of some description. It doesn’t really matter as long as I am creating something. It’s very soothing for the soul. This has been difficult due to all the trips to hospital and the more mundane matters of keeping house. My family are a constant source of support and give me strength, but I also need my creativity to keep sane. I have always been that way.
I’m normally a very private person and don’t often share my problems, always putting on a brave face. It’s what we do, isn’t it? Us that suffer from depression or any kind of mental health problem, we generally say, “I’m fine” when we most definitely are not.
When I struggle with a problem I write it out, it gives me clarity and helps me make decisions. It also helps me heal. I’m a strong believer in getting things out so as not to have them fester and poison our system, because they can. When our mental health is askew it often leads to physical illness. My way of “getting things out” is to write it out. I keep a journal, for good things as well as bad. Because I have difficulty in confiding in humans, I find writing is an outlet in lieu of a best friend.
Anyway, I digress. Back to my reason for writing this post on my blog instead of on paper in my journal is to share with you my way of coping with difficult times. Let’s face it we all suffer at times, some more than others and for many different reasons. It can be very isolating and if like me, you struggle to confide or keep putting on that brave face, then maybe by sharing my experiences you can feel that actually you are not alone. After all, we’re all in this together aren’t we? This thing called life.
My most recent painting is a sunset, because to me, evening is the best time and sunsets are the most perfect views. It never fails to heal my heart watching the setting of the sun.
Many years ago, when my children were young we were fortunate enough to live in the countryside and had the most amazing views of sunsets across the fields of farmland. That’s where my soul goes when I need peace… to the fields with that beautiful setting sun.
One of the great difficulties of painting a sunset is getting the colours right, hitting that sweet spot where all harmonises and the setting sun is the hero.
Some of the best artists of all time have painted the setting of the sun giving it the justice it deserves. People like Monet, Renoir, Van Gogh, Turner to name but a few. These artists are my greatest inspirations.
But please don’t compare my meagre efforts to any of theirs, you will find me wanting. I endeavour to get better and better and hopefully, in time, I will paint a landscape that I’m happy with.
Anyway, I have yet to complete my sunset. These things take time.
I didn’t want to disappoint you by not posting today and therefore I give you the beginnings, my effort so far. Still lots to do but sometimes it’s good to see the process in action so to speak. Haven’t even begun the foreground yet, apart from a block-in and the sky still needs work to strengthen those oranges and reds.
If you find you’re struggling to cope with life’s problems I would urge you to make something. Anything. There are so many forms of creativity that there’s surely one you will enjoy. From painting, drawing, writing, doodling, knitting, crochet, mosaic, cooking, sewing, whatever. Do something. For a little while you will forget your troubles and enjoy something. And remember, it isn’t the end result that matters, it’s the process, the doing of it that’s important. As someone great once said, it’s not the destination that’s important but the journey. I totally agree.
Bless you all and my very best wishes
Shari x
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